


Belated

by orphan_account



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24730648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Heero gave Duo his word- their farewell was only temporary. They will meet again once they both make peace with themselves.Such a lie...
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy, Relena Peacecraft/Heero Yuy
Kudos: 9





	Belated

Thunder roared, and the windows shuddered. Heavy rain hammered against the glass, water shattering as it forcefully hit the window. A flash of lightening blazed through the heavens, creating a game of light and shadow over menacing rain clouds. The flash lasted long enough to light the darkness and in the brief flicker night turned into day, allowing the view to be seen from the otherwise murky window. A storm was raging over the city of Brussels, torrents pouring mercilessly upon ancient buildings and dark streets.

Another electric flash split the night and the rolling thunder bombarded the city with a deafening sound. A scream soon followed it, torn out of the gaping, parched lips of a woman. The window rattled at the sound, raindrops shaking as they slid down the glass.

All fell silent again as the clouds gathered for their next attack. For a moment the night was silent, until another tortured scream pierced the ears of every listener in the room.

The scream was torn out of the lips of one Relena Darlian, a prestigious politician who now lay in agony on a creaking hospital bed. She threw her head back and howled in pain, her face contracting with effort. Her eyes scanned the room frantically as if searching for a way out. The illumination was dim and melancholically blue. It made the room appear cold and detached. The overhead lights were too bright and stabbed her red-rimmed eyes. She sunk her head heavily into the pillow, panting, and as the pain intensified again her eyes clenched shut and she struggled to breathe.

“A few more pushes and it will all be over, Miss Darlian,” a doctor encouraged softly, his cold hands probing somewhere between her thighs.

“Fuck you!” she huffed a curse and thunder roared in agreement.

The doctor shook his head with a small sigh.

Her neck stretching impossibly when the next contraction came. Sweaty bangs clung to her forehead as she called out again, squeezing the hand that was holding hers.

Heero Yuy, the owner of the said hand, stood by her bed in a useless attempt to offer as much comfort as he could. His posture was tense and yet at the same time weary. Relena’s sweaty cold fingers curled tightly around his hand as she went through the last phases of a hard labor.

“The head is out,” the doctor said as if it was suppose to make anyone feel any better. “One last push for the shoulders and you can hold your baby girl.”

“Shut up!” the mother screamed and moved her legs in an attempt to kick him. Two nurses had to hold her down.

“Relena,” Heero whispered softly and reached a hand to brush sweaty locks out of her eyes. She turned to look at him – angry, bitter, her blue eyes full of contempt. Her fury subsided as he held her gaze with his, blue eyes calm despite her obvious anger. Her features nearly relaxed until the next contraction hit. She screamed and cursed, squeezing Heero’s hands tight enough to almost crack a bone.

Outside, the storm still raged, intensifying along with Relena’s screams.

A few endless minutes later the screechy sound of a weeping child echoed through the room. As another flash of lightening flickered in the black night, Relena fell against the bed in exhaustion.

Silence fell over the room, aside from the consistent tapping of rain against the window. Heero stood quietly and watched as the nurses cleaned the newborn child. They wrapped her in a warm pink blanket before one nurse came to present the baby to her mother.

Relena closed her eyes and turned her head away, uninterested in the child she had given birth to.

The nurse looked up at Heero in question, worry in her eyes. Heero merely shook his head and sighed, telling a sad tale without speaking a word. The nurse nodded and moved away, carrying the child out of the room.

The staff left after cleaning up, leaving the two alone. Relena lay facing the window, watching the storm. Heero remained by her side, holding her cold hand, not saying a word. When she fell asleep he carefully released her and left the room. The door closed behind him with a silent, final click.

The hospital hallways were empty. Dim blue lights lit the corridors, creating more shadows than light. His footsteps echoed in the silence as he slowly marched down the hallway, watching the soft shadows the rain created on the floor. He reached the nurses’ station at the joint of three corridors. The nurse on duty was reading a book in front of her desk lamp, a yellow halo in the sea of cold blue light. She paid him no mind as he stepped past her and walked into the smoking area a few feet away.

A large panoramic window stretched from one side of the wall to the other. The hospital was located on a hill at the outskirts of Brussels. On a good night one would have been able to see the city lights sparkle in the dark. That night, Christmas Eve of AC 200, not a glimmer of light could be seen as the city was swallowed by fog. Only darkness waited outside the window, a breeding ground for a stormy night.

With a heavy sigh Heero reached into his jacket’s pocket and pulled out a box of expensive cigarettes. A tint of yellow touched his skin as he brought the lighter to his face, mingling with the nightly blue aura. The warm color disappeared as soon as the Zippo lighter snapped shut with a metallic click.

Standing by the window he took a long relaxing drag. For moments long he stood unmoving, watching as lightening offered glimpses of heavy rain clouds and slick building tops.

Four years have passed since he had saved that very city, and the globe it represented, from tyranny. Four years and there he was, standing in a hospital where one of the global government’s most valuable ministers had just given birth to her baby girl.

Most would mistake him for her bodyguard and therefore expect him to be present. That was understandable since most people didn’t know that he was so much more than a simple protector. He wasn’t there so he could protect her. He was there because he was the only one she had. Much like she was the only one he had.

Things had been different four years back. So much had changed. He never would have expected to find himself in the position he was in now. Not a bodyguard, not a father, not a lover, but a friend. And, in a way, family. He was Relena Darlian’s only family, as she was his.

There used to be another... someone close, closer than anyone else, but that was four years ago. Mistakes have been made and Heero could do nothing but learn to live with them and move on. It was something he was still struggling to do, even four years after.

His cigarette ran out. He sighed and threw it away. The nurse on duty came and offered him a cup of coffee. He accepted it and lit another cigarette to have along with his drink. Smoking was a stupid habit he had picked up, but there were worse habits he could have fallen into. Relena hated the fact that he smoked, and he equally disliked some of her habits. It was all a part of living with someone for so long. Three years now. It felt like so much more.

He sighed and inhaled more nicotine into his lungs. His life was not what he had imagined them to be four years ago. On the night of Christmas Eve 196 Heero had been certain that his future would be anything but what it was today. A foolish belief that he had paid for dearly.

Four years ago, on that exact same night, Duo and he made a promise to each other. After recently becoming lovers, prior to the Mariemea mutiny against the Earth Sphere Alliance, they decided to part ways for a year in order to learn more about themselves and the world around them. When Dekim Barton’s military outbreak was over and peace was restored, they parted ways, agreeing to meet in a year’s time at the same city square where they had last saw each other.

Heero spent the year of AC 197 traveling the globe, watching and learning about the world he was never a part of. He had gathered the experiences of a lifetime during his travels, journeying not only into the land, but also into himself. Sights and feelings filled his heart, nourishing his deprived soul. When he felt that he had learned enough (leaving the rest for Duo to teach him), he retuned to Brussels, awaiting their long expected reunion.

Having made it back earlier than expected Heero signed up for the position of Relena’s bodyguard, a position that she was happy to give him. The year that passed had changed Relena as well, from an idealistic girl into a strong woman and a worthy politician. She was busy with both schooling and work, dividing her time between many duties. There wasn’t much room in her life for socializing (other than the official balls she attended) and so, in that short span of time, they became close friends.

When Christmas Eve of AC 197 neared Relena was invited to a great ball in London, to celebrate a year of peace. She excused Heero from his duties, knowing that he looked forward to the reunion with his lover. With a kiss on the cheek and an honest wish for happiness she boarded her private jet and left for the party. Heero had selected the very best of her men to guard her that evening, and, confidant about her well being, he left for the city square where he was to reunite with Duo.

He was still on the highway when the announcement came to his private cell phone. Relena’s plane had been hijacked on the way to London and was now missing.

He had no choice but to come to her aid. She was his friend and in need of his help. His care for her did not allow him to ignore her distress. He skipped the highway exit that would lead him to the square and sped towards Preventer HQ.

The matter of Relena’s abduction was kept in utmost secrecy to avoid the public’s demand for drastic measures to be taken. It was a quiet, cautious operation that was carefully planned so that no one, especially other hostile factions, will ever learn about the precarious situation. It would have opened too many doors for chaos.

The mission was a success. In a matter of two days Heero went in and out, along with a few more agents, and rescued Relena. Once it was over he returned to the square, although two days too late.

It was the middle of the night and the square was empty aside for the homeless. Duo wasn’t there. Heero sat on the bench where they had parted and waited. He sat there for three days and three nights, unmoving unless Relena came to offer him some food or drink. Duo never came.

Heartbroken and full of self-loathing, Heero finally left the square. He had missed his chance for happiness. He had failed Duo. He had failed them both.

Useless hope brought him back to the square year after year, on every Christmas Eve. Duo never showed, but he kept coming, hoping, wishing, longing, yearning for a miracle, for his love to forgive him and come back, if only for one night, if only to yell at him, to hit him, to accuse him of messing up. Anything. Even just to say goodbye.

Three years have passed and Duo never came.

Heero moved in with Relena. They lived together in a high-class apartment in one of Brussels’ more prestige neighborhoods. For the first two years they lived not as roommates, not as lovers, but as friends. He no longer worked for her, but he did keep an eye on her indirectly through his Preventer job. They were both busy with work and their hectic lifestyle, but when they did have time to spend together it was always pleasant.

Then on June AC 199 Relena met the man of her dreams. She came home one day, beaming as she told him all about Erik Crasson, a young promising assistant for one of her professors at the University of Brussels. From that moment on, he was all Heero heard about.

He was happy that Relena had found love, although sometimes it hurt to see her so radiant with it while he himself was hurting from heartbreak and bitterness. His love and longing for Duo never vanished and each time Erik came over for dinner or stayed the night in Relena’s room, Heero’s heart caved under the reminders of his misery. The contrast between his unhappiness and Relena’s joy was too much for him to bear.

Having no choice but to deal with it, he always smiled at Erik when the young man stood in their living room, where Heero usually spent his Friday nights, commenting about the sports game Heero was (not really) watching. Then Relena would come out of her room, dressed like a princess and radiant as an angel. Heero would watch them leave, hand in hand, and the apartment would fall silent.

That was when he had started smoking. The large apartment became empty on weekends and the need for company lead him to find comfort in an addiction. At one point he even bought himself a cat, just to have something move around the house while Relena was out.

AC 199 already engaged Relena and Erik and the wedding was to be in the springtime. Heero made plans of moving out, however Relena insisted that he kept the apartment when she moved in with her fiancé. The apartment was too big for one individual, but Heero couldn’t be bothered with searching for a new place. He busied himself in work, cigarettes and lonely nights sitting in front of the television, petting a stubborn cat.

Duo hadn’t showed up on Christmas Eve AC 199 either, and the depression drowned Heero even deeper than before. When he came back from the square, alone once more, he had only a black cat and a box of cigarettes to greet him.

As the wedding neared the couple was already expecting a child. Relena was excited about being a mother and she shared her joy with Heero, who silently smiled at her while trying not to fall apart. Three years have passed since he parted with his lover and he felt that he would never be able to regain his happiness. Relena’s happiness was all he had left and he was grateful that she shared her joy with him.

On March AC 200 tragedy struck once again, taking away that happiness. Erik was killed in a train accident, leaving behind a pregnant fiancée and the dreams of a lifetime. Relena was crushed. After receiving the news of her fiancé’s death, she was never the same.

She moved back in with Heero and both tried to support each other as they succumbed to agony and heartbreak. There were no more pleasant evenings spent together, but rather lonely nights of lying in bed, listening to the weeping coming from the other room. The apartment became cold, detached and silent, and only a black cat roamed between rooms, sniffing the sadness in the air.

Months passed and both hearts continued to crack slowly. Relena was at the final stages of her pregnancy and still no preparations were made to greet the newborn into the world. That was until Heero decided that he had no choice but to be the strong one, the one who will keep his act together during that rough time. After months of avoiding the subject he finally confronted Relena about the future of her child.

However Relena was not interested in keeping the baby, a child who will forever remind her of what she had lost. She wanted to give the child away for adoption and move on with her life.

Heero did not agree with her reasoning, however he respected her decision.

And so, on Christmas Eve of AC 200 another unwanted child came into the world, a baby girl born to a lonely, heartbroken mother and her brokenhearted friend.

Snow began falling over the city as the storm calmed. Heero looked up from his cup of coffee to watch the night go silent. His eyes shimmered sadly as they gazed out into the darkness. There was bitterness in his mouth, both from the coffee, tobacco and his gloomy reflections.

He put the mug aside and reached cold fingers under the collar of his shirt, pulling out a thin silver necklace. Looking down, he gazed at the glimmering hoop held between his fingers. It was smooth, plain silver ring. Its design was elegant and simple, the only feature being a cross that was engraved in the center. The jewel was still warm from his body heat. He hadn’t taken it off for four years.

Before their sad goodbye, after one last kiss, Duo gave him that ring as a farewell gift, a reminder of him while they were apart. It was the only thing of value that Duo carried with him since childhood. Having nothing of value to give in return, Heero gave Duo his word- their farewell was only temporary. They will meet again once they both make peace with themselves.

Such a lie...

He sighed sadly and looked away, gazing at the dark hallway leading into the nursery. Stiffly, he curled his fingers around Duo’s ring.

He reached one hand to unfasten the necklace. He let the ring drop into his palm and gazed at it miserably. The light caught on the metallic edges and reflected in Heero’s eyes.

Lightening struck and thunder rolled.

Letting the ring hang from between his fingers he watched it numbly as it hung over the bench he was sitting on.

There was no need to go visit the square this year, he decided and slowly let go of the necklace.

The ring fell to the bench with a loud clatter of metal against wood.

Heero closed his eyes and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly to vent out the pain. He refused to look back as he forced himself to stand up. His steps were heavy, forceful, agonized, as he moved away from the bench.

Lightening flashed once again and the silver ring glimmered sharply in the darkness, abandoned once Heero disappeared into the dark hallway.

The nursery was dark; only one lamp lit the nurse’s station in the far corner of the room. The infants slept soundly in their cribs; unaware of the hardships of the world they were born into. Rain tapped silently against the window, casting soft shadows over the colorful curtain that hid the darkness from the newborns’ eyes. Heero moved quietly towards the nurse on duty. She looked up from her book and smiled.

“Can I help you?” she whispered kindly, too young and naïve to realize that she should be thankful for being able to smile like that.

“I’d like to see minister Darlian’s child,” his voice was numb, cold, and official.

“Of course,” the nurse nodded and placed her book down. Heero waited by the window as she went to bring the child.

“There you are,” she said softly, holding the small baby in her arms. A thick pink blanket covered her neatly. Heero stood, dazed, watching the infant in the woman’s arms. Only her small face was visible under the pink blanket, a little red scrawny face, not attractive yet, barely distinguishable as a male or female, and yet, at the same time, the most beautiful face he had ever seen. A new life, barely twenty minutes old, and it was right there before his eyes. Beautiful.

“Would you like to hold her?” The nurse asked with a smile, nudging the baby towards him in encouragement. “I bet she’d love having one of her parents finally hold her.”

Her ignorant remark hurt, but he didn’t want to say anything about it. He brought his hands up awkwardly, unsure of how to go about it. The nurse patiently guided him, moving the baby into his arms and showing him how to hold her.

“Watch the head,” she said once the infant was secured in his arms, and carefully stepped away.

Heero stood quietly and studied the precious creature lying cradled in his arms. It was the first time he was holding something so fragile, so vulnerable and small. She was lovely, pure and innocent, however not his to hold and cherish.

He smiled at her, sadly, longingly, and reached a careful hand to touch her face. He ran the pad of his finger against her soft cheek; she was warm and smooth under his finger. He was afraid to hurt her in some way so he pulled away before any damage would be done.

For a few long moments he stood still, holding her in his arms, studying her tiny features until he could finally see the resemblance to her mother. The realization brought both guilt and happiness to his heart, causing him to almost wince at the sensation.

“Have you thought of a name yet?” The nurse asked timidly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

It was not his place to give this child a name. She was not his to love, not his to name. Relena would be mad if she ever found out that he even held her. And yet... he could not help but gaze at the child’s face, pondering over the question. What name would suit her best? What name would be called and she would smile and turn in the speaker’s direction? What would be the name her parents will whisper with love, her lover would whisper in passion?

Such a fateful decision to make, there was so much in a name. So many feelings it carried. There were so many memories and meaning and hope. And in that moment he realized that he would never be able to erase Duo’s name from his mind, as well as from his heart. His attempts would prove futile unless he will adopt a new name to love. It was a new name to hold onto, to call to, to live for.

Gazing at the child he studied the way the desk lamp aura touched her features, the way the shadows of rain slowly caressed her skin, sliding quietly like tears. \ The room was silent, warm, and combined with the peaceful sight of the baby’s face; Heero’s heart was filled with a tender, loving feeling.

“Shizuka…” he whispered, a hint of awe in his voice. He smiled sadly at the child and reached a finger to caress her tiny cheek. “It means ‘peaceful’,” he explained without looking at the nurse.

The young woman smiled sweetly. “That is a very unique name,” she whispered, “it’s lovely.”

Heero nodded, his mind elsewhere. His eyes never left the child’s slumbering face as he rocked her gently in his arms.

The nurse retreated, giving him some space. He walked up to the window and pushed the curtain aside. The city skyline spread before him, glowing now that the storm has calmed. Snow fell silently to the ground, covering everything with white. A perfect Christmas Eve, peaceful, calm and soothing as snow fell in the silent night. The silence that came after the storm marked the feeling of finality in his heart. His heart, although aching, was finally soothed.

He looked down at the baby, a sad, bitter shimmer in his eyes. He made a vow to make her happy, to keep her safe and content to the best of his abilities. He will not allow her to be abandoned by her mother. He refused to take part of such a cruel choice. He did not know much but he knew the pain of abandonment, the pain of letting someone down, of denying someone of love and being denied of it. As long as he had a say in the matter, he didn’t want this child to suffer the same fate. Her life should be a happy life, a peaceful life, because that was what both he and her mother fought so hard to achieve. He will not let her down.

“Shizuka...” he whispered, holding her tight. He leaned forward to press a soft kiss to her small forehead, sealing his vow to her.

He handed the baby back to the nurse and left the room, in a desperate need for a smoke. His resolution brought on a fit of nervousness he had to banish before moving on with his plan.

The silver ring was no longer there when he returned to the smoking area. He looked around in hopes to find the person who took it, but only empty walls stared back. He sighed and lit a cigarette, musing that the loss of the ring was for the best. Out of sight, out of mind.

Taking his time with the smoke, he gazed solemnly out the window, watching the snowfall over the city. The clock on the opposite wall struck half past midnight. Its constant ticking soon irritated Heero. It only reminded him of how much time he had lost, and how much more time he had to endure his agony.

He looked up when someone entered the smoking area. It was an old nun, well into her sixties. Her robes were old and shabby, torn at the edges. Her wrinkled face was pale and bitter. She took a seat on the bench opposite to his, sending him a scrutinizing look. Her features were sour and angry, almost accusing. He looked away.

“Do you have a light?” She suddenly asked, breaking the heavy silence that engulfed the hospital halls.

Heero frowned at her as she pulled out a cigarette from her robes. He’d never seen a nun smoke before. It was none of his business, and frankly he didn’t care. He leaned forward and handed her his Zippo lighter. The old woman took it with an acknowledging nod and lit up her cigarette.

“Thanks,” she muttered and threw the lighter back at him. He caught it in one hand, nodded, and returned to gaze out the window.

The two sat in silence, surrounded by gloominess and separated by miles of unspoken misery. Neither was interested in conversation, nor in the reason behind the other person’s pain.

Ten minutes passed in pure silence before three more nuns stormed into the smoking area, anger and disappointment on their faces.

“Sister Marietta! We’ve been looking all over for you!” One of the eldest, called out in reproachfully.

“Father Josef is calling for you! The service is almost over!” Another, younger nun, added sharply, planting her hands on her hips.

Heero watched the commotion with indifferent eyes.

The smoking nun, Sister Marietta, seemed about as moved by it as he was.

She sighed in exasperation and brutally crushed her cigarette against the nearest ashtray bin.

“Hurry up Sister!” the youngest nun called again, “Father Josef is waiting in the chapel.”

“We must leave soon or we will miss our shuttle flight.” Another, the third nun, reminded Marietta.

“Yes, yes, I know,” the bitter nun muttered, “keep your shorts on.”

Heero could not help but smirk at her words. She was obviously no ordinary nun. He watched silently as the four shuffled into one of the corridors, the three younger nuns urging Sister Marietta to hurry. From the words they grumbled to hasten her, Heero concluded that they must have come to Earth for Christmas, and that they would be leaving for the Colonies that night.

It was more than he needed or wanted to know. He turned away from the odd sight and gazed out the window some more. His cigarette had long run out. He threw the stub away and rose to his feet with a sigh.

Walking heavily down the hallway leading to Relena’s room, Heero knew that it was all or nothing, now or never. This was the last Christmas he will spend tormenting himself about a love that had been lost.

Relena was awake when he entered the room. It had been less than an hour since she had given birth to her daughter, a child he had named without her knowing.

She did not turn to face him as he entered the room and closed the door behind him. She laid still, a hand over her still somewhat swollen stomach, watching the snow gather at the edges of the windowsill. The room was cold and quiet, the air around them solemn.

He took a stand by her bed and reached for her hand, covering her palm with his. She did not move, did not even flinch. Her hand remained motionless as it lay across her belly.

“Relena,” he whispered her name, as softly as only he could, which always gained her attention. She slowly turned to him, a dead look in her eyes.

“Is she well?” She breathed out the question, only a silent hint of worry in her eyes.

“Hai,” he assured, squeezing her hand lightly.

Relena nodded and turned to stare at the ceiling. Silence fell once more. Snow fell silently out the window, but the sight did not soothe their hearts.

“Relena,” he spoke up, breaking the silence once more. When she did not turn to face him, he added, “Marry me.”

Her hand faltered under his own and she whirled around to glare at him angrily.

“ _What was that?_ ” She hissed, her eyes shooting poisonous daggers his way.

“I’m asking you to marry me.” He repeated calmly, his voice dead as well as his eyes.

“You’re insane,” she spat and yanked her hand away from his. Her glare focused on the window and her shoulders tensed with anger.

“I will raise your child with you. We can raise her together.”

“I’m giving her away, Heero. I already told you that.”

“Don’t,” he pleaded, reaching for her hand again, “Don’t do this to her... she doesn’t deserve to be treated that way.”

“ _And I was!?_ ” Relena muttered, shaking her head, “I don’t recall anyone asking me if I wanted to be given away.”

Heero sighed, bowing his head down slightly. “Do you want your child to feel the same anger you are feeling now? Do you want her to wonder why her mother gave her away?” He questioned calmly, knowing that only cold reasoning will get through to her.

“Your parents perished, yet your are alive. You have no excuse for doing this to her.”

She sighed, turning away from him again. For moments long she gazed out the window, unmoving, barely breathing, in pain.

Heero stood by her side and waited, holding her hand in an attempt to keep her strong through this.

“You’re willing to give up on Duo for me?”

“Would you give up on Erik for me?”

She snorted. “You know damn well that I wouldn’t.” ****

He smiled sadly. “Neither would I.”

They fell silent again, gazing into each other’s eyes, seeing deep into the heartbreak of the other.

“I named her.” Heero said, timid, knowing very well that he had no right to do so. Relena’s glare confirmed his thoughts. She rolled her eyes and turned away.

“This means you’ve already decided what my answer should be.”

He remained silent, waiting for her to think things through. She turned to stare at the ceiling and sighed.

“We should do it now, before we regret it.” She whispered resignedly.

Heero nodded in agreement. “Hai.”

His heart sank with the finality of his agreement. All or nothing. Now or never. It was time to bid Duo a final goodbye.

A nurse was kind enough to let him use a wheelchair to carry Relena to the hospital chapel. Another nurse even volunteered to bring the baby along as well, mistaking the spontaneous wedding for a joyful event. The young nurses were full of naïve thoughts of Christmas miracles, romance and love, when reality was far more somber.

Heero pushed Relena’s wheelchair down the aisle of the small chapel just as the Priest and his nuns were cleaning up after Midnight Mass. Relena was still dressed in a shabby hospital gown, her hair disheveled and her features pale after the traumatic experience of giving birth. A blanket was wrapped around her knees, and in her arms she was holding her child for the first time. She held the baby rather unwillingly and has yet to even get a good look at her own child.

The Priest, who stood by the altar, noticed the young couple approaching and greeted them with a warm smile. His smile slowly faded as two pairs of cold blue eyes met him, looking at him in both misery and despair. One look at the unkempt, bitter young man and his listless spouse, and the old man could sense that something was wrong.

“Can I help you?” He asked kindly, hiding his surprise behind a smile.

“We’d like you to wed us.” Heero said straightforwardly, his gaze intense as he looked into the Priest’s eyes.

The old man’s eyes widened in surprise. He glanced down at the baby in the woman’s arms before looking up to her face. She seemed rather impatient, if not annoyed, her glare on the floor. He looked back at the young man behind the wheelchair.

“Son, are you sure?”

“Yes, we’re sure!” Relena snapped, releasing an irritated sigh. Heero sighed as well, and looked away.

A few nuns, among them Sister Marietta, sent the Priest a bewildered look. The old man shook his head helplessly and gave a slight shrug before turning back to the couple.

“Do you have a ring? Witnesses?”

The couple shook their heads ‘no’. Relena began rocking the baby impatiently in her arms until Heero laid a hand on her shoulder, signaling her to stop. She rolled her eyes and looked away, anywhere but at the altar.

“And you are certain that you want to do this?” The Priest asked again as two young nuns approached the scene, worry in their eyes.

“Yes,” Heero replied, his voice cold and firm. “As soon as possible please.”

“All right,” the old man nodded, “Give me a moment, son.”

Heero watched the Priest step off the altar and approached Sister Marietta, who stood with a broom at the other side of the chapel. They exchanged a few brief words and the nun nodded. She put the broom aside and left the chapel. The Priest returned to the altar and smiled.

“It will be just a moment, I asked her to call our courier, and he will get you what you need. He’s quite a handy young man.”

Heero nodded and curled his fingers tight around the wheelchair’s handles. Relena resumed rocking the baby impatiently.

A few minutes’ later two nurses stepped into the chapel, followed by Sister Marietta and a young man. The nun hurried to the altar and placed a small artifact in the Priest’s hand. The old man nodded in gratitude and excused the nun. She nodded and stepped away.

The Priest motioned Heero to approach. Behind him, Heero heard the small crowd – the nuns and the nurses – whisper among themselves excitedly. He tuned them out and reached to receive the item from the Priest. He felt the slight sting of cold metal touch his skin as the old man placed the ring in his palm and drew back.

Heero looked down to examine the jewel, and froze.

It was his ring. Duo’s ring. The same one he had left on the bench not an hour ago.

“I...” he let out, shaking his head as he felt himself choke with emotions, “I can’t use this.” He said, looking up at the Priest with sorrow.

“‘Course you can,” a voice called from the back, “It’s yours.”

Both Heero and Relena stiffened, and the Priest looked up at the speaker in confusion.

“What do you mean by that, Duo?”

All eyes in the room turned to look at the young courier who stood by the door, watching the altar with intense indigo eyes. ****

Heero’s eyes widened at the sight of his love. Relena’s arms tightened around her child. The baby started crying, her screechy sobs tearing through the silent church.

For a few long moments the world was still, frozen with shock, until Duo turned around and left the chapel.

Heero remained motionless, staring blankly at the empty space Duo left behind him. A hand came to rest on his shoulder and he flinched, snapping back into reality. He often flinched when people touched him unannounced, but never when she did. His reaction to her touch was another proof of how shaken he was.

“Go after him,” Relena whispered, standing behind him with one hand on his shoulder while her other arm supported the baby.

He wanted to, he truly did, but his feet were rooted to the spot. Duo’s ring was still clutched tightly in his fist.

Around him, the nuns returned to their cleaning duty as the Priest urged them to do. The nurses slowly walked out of the chapel, escaping the awkward moment.

“Go,” she repeated, squeezing his shoulder lightly and giving him a small nudge forward. He nodded, swallowing hard, and forced his feet to move. With each step forward, his pace hastened until he ran out of the church.

He caught up with Duo near the elevators, only a few feet from the smoking area. Duo was waiting for the elevator to come and Heero briefly wondered why he hadn’t taken the stairs. He chose to take it as a sign of hope.

Clutching the ring tightly in his fist, he approached Duo.

The young man was dressed simply, dark fabric that created a gloomy aura around him. He was not the same Duo who had left the city square four years ago. Everything about him seemed different, from his posture, his reactions and his gloom. Heero knew the symptoms all too well, the symptoms of a broken heart.

It was another glimmer of hope that encouraged him to move forward. ****

“Duo,” he called softly, just as the elevator dinged to announce its arrival.

Duo’s back tensed and slowly, he turned to face Heero. His eyes were hard, his expression taut. He glared at Heero defiantly, lifting his chin up ever so slightly.

They stood across from each other, separated by three feet that felt like a broad chasm. Silently, they looked at each other, unable to form a word. Heero clutched the ring even tighter than before, the metal now warm against his palm. He never wished to part with it, never again, if only Duo would let him...

“Duo...” he began slowly, still not knowing what to say. He never did.

“I actually stopped by the square,” Duo cut in, his words sharp, harsh, “dunno why but I wanted to see if you’re there.”

Heero’s heart crumbled with each word. He wanted to tell Duo that he went to the square, every year for the past three years, but only silence hung in the air when he opened his mouth. The dreadful feeling of failure and hurt crushed him from the inside, clenched tightly around his ribcage until he could not breathe.

“’Course I never expected to really see ya there, I mean, you weren’t there the first time so why would ya be there now, right?”

“Duo, that’s not...”

“But coming here and barging in on your _wedding_! Well! _That_ was unexpected!”

Heero shook his head, his mouth gaped open but no words coming out. He felt tears sting the back of his eyes. This was... wrong. It was so wrong... no...

“Duo,” he whispered, too choked on his emotions to continue.

Duo stopped his rant and looked at him, waiting for him to continue. His gaze was harsh, unforgiving, and when Heero looked deep enough, he saw hurt. Duo’s hurt resulted in anger, and his anger... Heero was always speechless before it. He was afraid of ruining everything again.

The nuns emerged from the chapel, carrying large crates and other equipment used for the Midnight Mass. They headed slowly towards the elevator, avoiding eye contact with the two young men.

Heero stood still, his eyes locked on Duo’s as the figures moved in the background, huddling in the elevator. Their eyes were now on him, curious, criticizing and prying. All the while Duo stood before him, waiting for a response.

The Priest was last to leave the chapel. He carried a large bag over one shoulder, supporting it with one of his hand. He stopped next to the two young men, standing in the gap between them. He sent Heero a glance before turning to Duo.

“Should I leave your bag here?” He asked calmly.

Duo kept eye contact with Heero as he answered: “No.”

The Priest nodded and moved to the elevator, holding the door open.

Duo sighed and shook his head before walking up to Heero. He reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out the silver necklace that had held the ring. He took Heero’s limp hand in his and forced his fist open, exposing the ring. Heero trembled at the warm touch, flooded with the sense of failure and inevitability. Tears stung his eyes again as Duo placed the necklace in his palm and closed his fist around it.

They looked into each other’s eyes once more before Duo turned around and walked to the elevator. Heero stood immobile and watched as the doors closed behind his lover, no, former lover, sealing him away, this time for good. He had been given a chance and was too much of a coward to take it.

Now alone in the hallway, Heero allowed a few silent tears to shed. They slide slowly down his cheeks, glittering under the dim blue light.

Soft footsteps approached him from behind. _Relena_ , he recognized by the sound of her steps and the soft scent that engulfed him. She came to stand beside him, the baby no longer in her arms. They stood side by side, staring at the closed elevator doors.

“They’re not a part of any permanent institution,” Relena silently explained, “they travel the world to wherever Father Josef thinks they are needed. All of his followers are people he had picked up from the streets. Sister Marietta used to be a whore.” She snorted at her own remark.

From within the tears, the pain and self-loathing, Heero managed to somehow register the information. He nodded, however his mind was elsewhere.

“Father Josef told me that he had picked up Duo from the streets of L2 about two years ago,” she continued quietly, “he was far gone into liquor, Father Josef took him in and helped him.”

A sob almost broke from his lips at the sound of her words. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed with painful tears. His palm clenched tightly around the necklace and ring. He had broken Duo’s heart... he had failed the one he loved most.

Relena’s smooth cold fingers touched his hand, the one without the ring, and carefully entwined her fingers with his.

“You shouldn’t be standing here Heero,” she whispered shakily, “If that was Erik coming back to me I never would have let him go.”

“I... can’t,” he mumbled, shaking his head in denial. “It’s too late.”

“ _Bullshit_.” She snorted, squeezing his hand tightly. “It never is, as long as you two are still alive.”

She turned her gaze up to look at him - being almost a head shorter - her blue eyes shimmering in the dim hospital light.

“You can have your Christmas miracle, I can’t.” She gave his hand another soft squeeze, smiling sadly. “Go get your miracle Heero, do it for the both of us. No...” she shook her head, “the three of us. Duo also deserves his miracle.”

He gazed into her eyes, his own eyes glimmering with tears. Insecurity filled him once more and he trembled at the thought of being responsible for the happiness of so many lives, including his own. It took him a long minute to grasp that if he cannot realize the happiness of the people he loved, who can? Who should? There was no one other than he. He had promised himself to find happiness this year, or, at least, banish the pain away. Now was his chance.

Smiling gratefully, he caressed Relena’s cheek. She in return opened his fist and retrieved the necklace and the ring. After threading the necklace through the ring she reached up to fasten it around his neck, and then pressed a soft kiss to his forehead as he bent down.

“Go,” she said, patting his shoulder lightly. “Don’t worry about me, just go.”

Heero nodded and slowly pulled away from her. Dashing towards the stairs, he arrived at the underground parking lot just in time to see a black van, with a rental company’s logo, pull out of the lot. He hurried into his car and sped out of the parking lot, chasing the van.

Traffic was heavy on Christmas, despite the late hour. He had a hard time spotting the van in the river of cars, but his heart did not allow him to lose track of it, to lose track of Duo. He followed the van all the way to the spaceport, his heart pounding loudly the whole way. He lit up a cigarette to calm his nervousness, smoking and tapping his fingers on the wheel. All or nothing, now or never. That’s what it always came down to.

The van parked in front of the main terminal, among the taxicabs and other public transport and rental vehicles. Heero parked his white Porsche (911 Turbo) in a ‘no parking zone’ in front of the terminal. He sat anxiously and watched as Duo stepped out of the driver’s side and opened the van’s back doors. Four nuns climbed out of the van and the Priest joined them as he made his way from the passenger’s seat.

Heero reach a hand to hold the ring hanging from his neck. He held it tight in his fist, drawing strength from it. As Duo helped Sister Marietta and the Priest to unload the last of the crates, Heero took a deep breath and stepped out of the car.

The Priest and the nun carried the crate towards the terminal while Duo closed the van’s doors.

“I’m gonna drop her off at the car rental and be right with ya,” he told the Priest, turning around to walk to the driver’s door. That was when he spotted Heero standing by the white Porsche at the other side of the road. He froze, his eyes widening before then narrowed in suspicion.

Father Josef and the nun looked up as well.

“We will wait for you inside,” The Priest told Duo and ushered Sister Marietta into the terminal, where the other nuns waited.

Duo remained rooted to his spot, gazing at Heero as if he was some sort of an apparition.

Slowly, Heero crossed the distance between them, his anxiety increasing with every step. He held Duo’s gaze in his, pinning him with his eyes so he would not escape. He stopped at a hair’s distance from Duo, looking him straight in the eye.

A bubble of tense silence separated them from the noisy spaceport. They gazed into each other’s eyes, breath shallow and almost labored.

“Don’t go,” Heero finally whispered, pouring all of his remaining strength, resolve, faith and hope into those two words. “Onegai, Duo, don’t leave me.”

Duo swallowed hard, unease beginning to show on his face. “Heero, you...”

“I came every year Duo, every single year,” Heero cut in, his voice desperate for understanding, “Each year I hoped that you might have forgiven me, that you would come and I will be able to tell you how much I...”

Duo’s gaze was intense, hot like fire. It made him speechless, causing him to lose his confidence. Were his words useless now? Has too much time passed? Was he indeed too late?

“It was wrong of me not to come the first year. I made a mistake, I put Relena ahead of you, and I left without even sending you a message... I ruined things for us.”

Duo turned away and Heero followed the movement, refusing to break eye contact.

“I never stopped loving you, Duo. This love for you... it has been tormenting me for four years... it’s a torture I suffer through willingly. Aishiteru, Duo. I never stopped.”

Duo turned away again and Heero followed, they were now standing so that Heero’s back was turned to the van.

“Duo, you must believe me when I say that what you saw tonight... it was not what it seemed to be. She is not... the baby is not mine. We’re not...”

Duo took a step forward, forcing Heero to take a step back. His back was pressed against one of the van’s back doors. The feeling of being cornered struck him, making him tremble as Duo neared, closing the gap between them completely. All the while Duo’s expressive indigo eyes bore deeply into his own, seeing through him as always, unmasking everything, and stripping him down to his very soul. He swallowed hard, the invasion causing his cheeks to heat.

“I do love you,” he breathed, having nothing else left to say. He looked into Duo’s eyes, afraid but drawn like a moth to the flame. His breath caught in his throat as Duo leaned forward so that his lips nearly touched Heero’s neck.

“I was afraid to believe in you again...” Duo whispered next to his ear, “all these years...” he continued sadly, “Heero...”

His voice faded as he pressed his lips into a soft, warm kiss to the base of Heero’s neck.

“I believe you,” he breathed after the kiss, tears filling his eyes as he looked at Heero, “I never stopped loving you... all this time... I love you,” Duo whispered and drew Heero close into a kiss.

The following moments exceeded every expectation Heero had ever dared to develop for the situation. Quite roughly, Duo shoved him against the van doors and kissed him passionately. The kiss was so intense, so desperate, that it sucked the air out of his lungs, leaving him shaking.

He felt Duo’s hand climb up his torso, pushing his jacket aside, sneaking under his shirt to rest against his waist. All the while, their lips never parted. Duo pressed his hips firmly against Heero, deepening the kiss. The passion and longing of four long years was poured into a single, time-stopping kiss.

Heero’s eyes snapped open when he heard a metallic ‘click’ followed by another sound of shifting metal. He had but a second to presume what it was before the van doors opened behind him and he was shoved inside by an eager Duo. He landed flat on his back, lying on the van’s carpeted floor. There were two benches at opposite sides of the van, folded against the walls so there was enough space to accommodate the two of them. The doors slammed shut, shutting them away from the world. The van turned dark aside for the dim halo of a street lamp pouring through the driver’s cabin.

Panting in the dark, they moved clumsily against each other, shaking with lust and need. Sensations were enhanced in the darkness and every breath of air came out loud and desperate.

“Duo...” Heero called out to the shadows, squirming on the floor as bit-by-bit his clothing was removed. He soon lay nude on the van’s floor, only the necklace and the ring adorning his body.

Kisses were bestowed upon him, warm lips against his golden skin. His body was eager to be touched, eager to be loved, eager to be worshipped by the man he breathed for, the man he had yearned for all of his life.

“Heero...” Duo gasped in the dark, throwing his shirt over his head in haste.

Heero moaned when his lover pressed his nude body against his, skin touching skin, shallow breaths dancing across the hollow of his neck.

“ _Oh God..._ ” Duo moaned, gliding his hands sensually over the sides of Heero’s trembling body, his own frame trembling at the intimate feeling. He traced Heero’s arms, his torso and his waist. They moved against each other, waist against waist, groin brushing against groin, mimicking the motions that were soon to come.

The contact was electrifying, sending jolts of white pleasure to the back of Heero’s eyes. His thrill grew and throbbed between his legs, causing him to toss his head aside and moan with helpless need and pleasure. He hadn’t been touched in four years...

_Four years..._

“ _Duo..._ ” he whimpered into his lover’s mouth, wrapping his limbs around him as they kissed, trapping him, luring him in and loving him with his entire body.

Duo’s hands caressed every part of him, warm fingers gliding over his heated skin. His lover’s hands were eager and invasive, demanding and hungry for touch, trembling with pleasure. The sheer fervor of his movements left Heero shaking beneath him, his hunger now erect, aching for the promises of blissful satisfaction.

His loins burnt for his lover’s touch, yearning for the only man who had ever touched him, had ever been allowed to come close. For four years he had denied himself pleasures of the flesh, keeping himself only for Duo, for the one who owned his heart, body and soul. Years of pent up feelings and tension now cried for release. His taut, trembling body was fervent with the need for absolution.

Duo’s arousal poked against his thighs, as if asking for permission to be devoured by his heat. He felt Duo move somewhere below, positioning himself into the act of gratification. Somewhere in his head alarm bells began to ring loudly. While his heart was willing and his body was aching for sex, he knew that he could not endure such a fierce act just yet.

“Duo, wait...” he whispered, panting, and felt Duo still.

“What?” Came a breathy query from the dark.

“It’s been... four years...” Heero reminded him, his voice needy, yet poised.

“Oh.” Was the dumbfound reply, followed by a sigh. He felt Duo move against him, leaning down so he lay prone against Heero. His hard erection rubbed against Heero’s, milking more need out of his arousal as he moved about.

Heero heard a zipper open and then sounds of rattling filled the van. _Duo’s bag_ , he reasoned, waiting impatiently for the search to end. He could not have suffered through any sort of extensive foreplay, nor did he wish to wait for other preparations to be made. He needed his lover inside him, he needed their reunion to finally be complete. He needed it desperate and wild, a quick and certain confirmation that all was well between them. He needed it fast, hard and furious. Salvation found in sex, a distinct vow of love shared by the two of them. ****

“There, got it,” Duo finally said and moved away from the bag, holding a small container which Heero could not make out in the dark.

“Hair gel,” Duo chuckled and plopped the lid open, “never leave home without it.”

Heero made a displeased face, uncertain of that particular choice, but all reason vanished once Duo’s slick fingers were inside him.

He hissed and threw his head aside, wiggling his hips impatiently as Duo stretched him. He was tight, and it hurt, but it was a welcomed pain, he was eager for more.

“Duo... h-hurry... onegai...” he pleaded, the wait becoming more excruciating as the seconds passed.

A warm, tingly sensation washed over him as Duo’s fingers moved slowly in and out of him, taking the time to prepare, to stretch and to whisper sweet promises of more to come.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the warmth creeping under his skin, hundreds of tiny feet crawling up his body, gradually coating him from his toes and up to his flushed face. Colorful spots danced behind his closed eyelids, sparks of pleasure jolting him whenever Duo’s fingers reached into the sweet heaven inside him. Whereas a moment ago he wanted nothing but vigorous sex, he now lay basked in pleasure, coated with honey-like feelings of love.

Licking his bottom lip, Heero opened his eyes and tried to search for Duo’s face in the darkness of the van. His lover turned to look at him and the street lamp’s radiance caught in his eyes, making them glitter lovingly in the dark.

“Ready?” He asked with a whisper, positioning himself at Heero’s gateway to heaven.

Heero nodded, slowly, and parted his legs, placing them at both sides of his lover’s body, opening himself for his lover. Duo smiled, a hint of a movement on his shadowy face.

Slowly, he moved in between Heero’s astride legs, closing his eyes as he prepared for the plunge. He entered him little by little, careful not to hurt his lover’s body. The sensation of being filled caused Heero to clench his eyes shut and bite his lower lip. The world still existed outside the van, he reminded himself, and tried to keep from groaning loudly.

Duo’s arousal stretched him and filled his insides, rubbing against inner walls, drawing small whimpers out of his lips. He shook his head from side to side, aching to cry out. His fists clenched as his desire stood erect, leaking with the need for friction. Once sheathed deep inside him, Duo waited motionlessly for Heero to adjust.

The feeling of being full and complete once more drew small muffled pants out of Heero. His ragged breathing echoed in the small van, accompanied by Duo’s equally shallow breaths.

“I forgot... how good it feels...” Heero whispered, his voice a bit high pitched as he forced himself to speak.

Duo nodded slowly and leaned down so he lay over Heero, still embedded deep inside of him.

“You waited all this time?” He asked, trailing kissed from Heero’s chest to his jaw line.

“H-hai,” Heero whispered, his breath catching in his throat.

“I’m sorry, love...” Duo murmured and ran his fingers through Heero’s sweat soaked hair. “I wish I could say the same...”

Heero nodded slowly, understanding. He turned his head to kiss Duo, silencing his apology. Duo began moving as they kissed, slowly pulling out only to thrust back in. Heero jumped when the first thrust hit him with pleasure, striking just the right spot, always knowing where to go, how to evoke more pleasure.

He wrapped his arms and legs around Duo, allowing his lover deeper access into his depths. Small cries tore from of his lips as their pace quickened. Thrashing from side to side, moving against Duo, thrusting himself up, being pushed back down, the rhythm grew, the tempo maddening.

Duo groaned and moved his hand to hold Heero’s, fingers entwined, crushing one another. The cabin filled with small whimpers of pleasure, moans and whispered cries for love.

The fierce rhythm of sex shook the van and the floor quavered beneath them. Any innocent bystander was sure to know what took place behind the van’s closed doors, but any sense of modesty had vanished from their minds. Instead was only the need for primal, feral lust, a search for unity and love. Both reached out for the other’s soul, healing the wounds of four lonely years.

As absolution neared Heero reached for the ring resting over his chest. He clenched in tightly in his fist as his other hand reached down to grant his aching erection some friction. Duo’s thrusts increased in force, pushing him back towards the cabin’s far wall. His back rubbed against the rough carpet, adding pain to the pleasure that drowned him. He cried out louder, moaning Duo’s name as he asked for more. Harder, fiercer, deeper.

“Drown me Duo... make me drown...” He whimpered desperately, asking for the fall his body ached for. Duo’s rapid pants and a slight shift of his angle answered Heero’s pleading.

“Ahh! Duo!!!” He called out loudly when the next thrust burst into an explosion of pleasure, molten white lava and sparkly white flares bursting out and flooding his entire being.

“Heero... Heero...” Duo moaned his name, hurtling faster towards the inevitable fall.

They both burned together, crashing towards the Earth like a shooting star. The impact shuddered the van, white light exploding behind their eyelids. Both called out the other’s name as they spilled their passion, coating the other with proof and their lust and love.

When the white light slowly faded into the blackness of the van Duo collapsed against Heero, his content erection slowly withering inside his lover’s body. He pulled out slowly and lay beside Heero, both moving to lie spooned together.

Heero lay with his back pressed against Duo’s chest, spooned together in a lovers’ embrace. Duo’s arms were wrapped around him, still warm and sweaty with sex. Their chests heaved together as they lay in silence, allowing their bodies to breathe and ride out the afterglow of their lovemaking.

He felt Duo’s fingers trace his chest, slowly hovering over his flushed skin. When he found the ring he held it up between his fingers and then, quite suddenly, yanked the necklace off Heero’s neck.

Confused, Heero turned his head to look up at his lover, who was now leaning over him. Before he could open his mouth to speak Duo silenced him with a soft kiss on the lips. Relaxed, Heero laid his head back down and allowed Duo to take his hand in his. His breath faltered as Duo slid the ring onto his finger and then closed his palm around Heero’s.

Delighted and content, Heero closed his eyes and snuggled against his lover. They lay together, hand in hand, at ease after four long years apart.

After a short but heartfelt farewell Duo parted from Father Josef and the Sisters. Once the van was back into the possession of the rental company Duo climbed into Heero’s Porsche and the two left the spaceport. The white sports car raced through the streets of Brussels as dawn broke to greet Christmas day of AC 200.

They arrived at Heero’s and Relena’s apartment shortly after six AM. The apartment was empty and only a black cat sent them an indifferent look as they walked through the door. The silence still hung sadly in the air, evidence of problems that were yet unsolved.

Heero threw his keys at the table by the door and Duo let his bag fall to the floor. He stood by the door and examined the classy apartment. The décor was very clean and elegant, the furniture stylish and a glass wall separated the kitchen from the living room. There was even a small bar and a large screen TV. There was a white spiral staircase lead to the upper level where the bedrooms were most likely to be. The apartment was similar to what one might have seen on ‘Celebrity Homes’.

With a push of a few buttons on the main household panel Heero opened the drapes to let the sunshine in and turned on the heating. Duo was still gaping at his lover’s fancy home as Heero walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. After pouring the two of them a drink he joined Duo by the kitchen’s glass counter. They sat on the bar stools at opposite sides of each other. After a few sips of his drink, Heero pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

Duo watched him with silent shock.

“Smoking is bad for you, yanno,” he commented, reaching for the cigarette box Heero had tossed aside. It was quite an expensive brand.

“So are a lot of things,” Heero replied as he was throwing his Zippo lighter open.

“I guess we both picked up some nasty habits.”

Heero nodded, holding the cigarette between his lips as he lighted his smoke.

They fell into an awkward silence. Duo traced circles around the edges of his glass, his eyes staring numbly at the liquor collection presented on a nearby shelf. Heero for his part concentrated on his smoke, his eyes gazing unfocused at the glass counter.

“Things did happen kinda fast, huh?” Duo finally spoke, and turned away from the liquor.

Heero reached for an ashtray and tapped out the ashes of his cigarette. “Do you have any regrets?”

“Are ya kiddin’? Aside from the past three years?!”

Heero nodded in agreement and stubbed out his cigarette. Duo watched Heero’s hand as he did so, looking at the ring that adorned his finger. It glimmered in the morning light, the soft rays catching on the edges of the cross-engraved on the ring. He sighed.

“No, I have no regrets about today.” He said quietly and looked up at Heero. “I wouldn’t have forgiven you so fast if I didn’t love you so damn much.”

They smiled at each other, a first, honest, pure smile, untainted with sadness. There was a moment of perfect peace and acceptance in the air, until Duo’s stomach rumbled. The two let out a small laugh and Heero got up to make some breakfast.

He warmed some Miso soup from the fridge and served it along with grilled fish, a rolled omelet and some pickles. The second Tamagoyaki was sizzling on the pan when the front door opened. Heero turned from the stove and Duo stopped before throwing the next Daikon Radish Pickle into his mouth. Both turned to look at the door as Relena walked in, carrying a small baby girl in her arms.

Heero’s lips lifted with a smile at the sight of his friend and her daughter. He left his cooking aside and walked up to greet her.

“Relena,” he called softly, unable to keep from smiling brightly. She was there with her child; she hadn’t given her away. He was proud of her, of her courage, her strength, and her ability to see beyond the pain and into the future.

“Hi Heero, Duo,” she greeted as Heero took her overnight bag off her shoulder. He helped her out of her coat and hung it by the door.

“I was preparing breakfast,” he said, trying to keep things light, “would you like some?”

She nodded in thanks and looked down at her baby, smiling slightly. Duo nudged his stool aside to make room for her as well. She sat by him, cradling her daughter, as Heero served the two breakfast.

“What’s her name?” Duo asked, looking curiously at the small infant.

Relena looked up at Heero in question, granting him permission with just the look in her eyes. He smiled, looking down at the child.

“Shizuka,” he said, and Relena smiled, nodding in approval.

“Sweet name,” Duo agreed, also smiling.

“Heero, I must insist that you quit smoking now that my daughter is here,” Relena informed her friend as he sat down to join them. Duo chuckled at the remark.

“All in favor raise their hand,” he said and raised his hand. Relena lifted her hand up as well. Heero shook his head and sighed, before also lifting his hand. The three had a short, mirthful laugh, relieving the tension that hung in the air.

The black cat came to sniff around the kitchen counter, as if curious of what the fuss was all about. It was the first time laughter had filled the house since Erik’s death.

Relena rocked her daughter in her arms, smiling weakly at the comments that were made over breakfast. The atmosphere was light, yet sadness still lingered under the surface. Not everything had been worked out yet, there were many problems lying ahead. Well aware of the hardship to come, the three chose to simply sit together and enjoy a peaceful Christmas meal.

Even belated, Christmas was always wonderful when shared with a loved one.


End file.
